Funny Breakup Lines (SYBD’s Original Archive 2001) Volume 1

funny-break-up-lines-volume-1While clearing up some old hard drives today, I stumbled across this document from SYBD’s old day’s for “breakup lines” and had to open it to have a laugh. I will maybe save some of the lines for a later post, thus calling this volume 1, but here are some to start us off. Look out for some of my top dumping lines below this first list. You’ll be amused!

People Say the Darndest Things to Dump Someone…

  1. “I just don’t feel that connection anymore.”
  2. “I don’t see you in my future.”
  3. “You know that night when you couldn’t find me? Well, I was with your sister.”
  4. “Well, when we first started dating, you were thinner.”
  5. “I don’t think this relationship is going anywhere.”
  6. “I want more holidays and dinners, and I’m opening a new salon.”
  7. “There’s something in my head and I don’t know what’s wrong – I can’t be friends anymore, I don’t need friends.”
  8. “I’m too immature for a serious relationship.”
  9. “You’re better off with someone else.”
  10. “My therapist and I decided that I should not be in a relationship right now.”
  11. “You live too far away.”
  12. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
  13. “It’s just not working out.”
  14. “You’re too old to have the number of children I want to have.”
  15. “I love you but I am not in love with you.”
  16. “I love you but I just can’t live with you.”
  17. “We’ve grown apart”
  18. “We want different things”
  19. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore”
  20. “I think we should go back to being friends”
  21. “I’m still in love with my ex”
  22. “I can’t get over the age difference”
  23. “I’m not really ready for any commitment”
  24. “You’re just an intern, and your internship just ended!”
  25. “I need my space”
  26. “I don’t want anything serious I want to still be able to have fun”
  27. “I’ve waited my whole life for this opportunity – I have to take it”
  28. “I don’t love you anymore and I don’t know if I ever did.”
  29. “I met someone else and s/he excites me.”
  30. “I’m just not ready for you yet! You make me wanna be a better man and I have to work at it!”

10 of My Fave SYBD Dumping Lines of All Time

  1. “If I have to choose between you and this glass of wine, I’ll choose the glass of wine every time”
  2. “You can analyze it until the cow’s come home but it isn’t going to change a thing.”
  3. “If you were honest with yourself, you’d admit you’re not happy. I’m doing this for you”
  4. “I have A.D.D. and just can’t stay interested in things for very long”
  5. “I’ve got family problems and too much work on. I can only cope with two things at the moment and a girlfriend is the only one I can really do without.”
  6. “Even though we’ve been together for two years, you’re Jewish and I’m Catholic. What would the Pope say?”
  7. “I’m so confused, couldn’t I just sleep with both of you?”
  8. “I wouldn’t even have stayed in the relationship this long, but you’re really good in bed.”
  9. “We have the perfect love at the wrong time.”

    And then the line that inspired SYBD, (in a sense…)

  10. “I could really fall for you, but I think I want to be a priest.”

Share Your Own Breakup Line

Feel free to share your own break up line in the comments below – whether that’s one that was maybe said to you or ones you’ve perhaps said to someone else to breakup. There have literally be thousands sent in over the past eighteen years…so I’d predict a few more volumes of breakup lines to come here on SYBD. Thanks for reading.

There is also this classic breakup line here or view my “5 Tips for Dumping your Relationship(an animated tutorial on youtube).

2 thoughts on “Funny Breakup Lines (SYBD’s Original Archive 2001) Volume 1

  1. I really love you and wish I could be with you but I’ve been having sex with someone and now he’s impregnated me.

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